RAWR

36 days until I go home!
So many people aren't coming back to the school next semester
&for good reason.
I can't wait. I wish it was just decemeber already.
That boy called me by the way, we talked about a few things.
I'm not sure where anything stands though.
Ahhh I can't wait to get out of here.

Home is a feeling I buried in you

So guys I've decided that when I go back home for winter break I'm going to stay and go to school on the east coast. I'm getting more & more excited about going home, I think it's the best decision for me, because if I'm not happy here why waste time and money when I can go home and be happy you know?People here may want me to stay, but I can't stay for them I have to do this for myself and I'm super glad I got to experience something new and I've learned so much & I'm coming out of it with new skills which is more than I could've asked for. & it's not like I won't take classes online. (maybe it's expensive) so I'll just go to school and work and do all of the things that I miss. I can't wait. This city just isn't for me.

& if you're interested check out the first music video I've ever made!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22OXoPGzKB0

it's to the song don't let them see you cry :)
the video starts at 1:30 ( I had to do bars&tones,slate&slug as a requirement)
My editing professor loved my video, she said it had a beautiful pace and that my personality showed through :)

Enjoy!

Collage because I miss you

Holy shitballs.

Hey everyone, so it's been a month since I've landed in San Fran and things are in full swing.

School is SO stressful, I have tons upon tons of work to do and barely any downtime.

The girls in my dorm are great (except for one stupid bitch) I've made a lot of friends so far, but I really miss home. And by home I mean my friends and family. 

I also met a boy a week before I left. Ain't that about a bitch? Yeah it is.

I'm probably going to take some online classes when I come home for summer to further this whole process along, school's too expensive to be fucking around. & I really only want to go here for like 2 years, but that maybe impossible. If so I'll just stay in Maryland and take classes online, because as much as I like San Fran, there are things to be attended to on the east coast.

Also I've been without my computer for like a month, I really hope it comes today like it said, but knowing my luck, it won't. Here's hoping all. Once I get it back I'll probably update this more, ehh if I have time that is. 

&this hot Persian boy that looks like Johnny Depp keeps telling me to call him, but I can't because I have so much work. Oh life.

I hope everyone's well! Maybe I will be once I get everything for today figured out. 

x

9, almost 8

Hello again. It's been sometime since I've seen you.
I've been quite busy this summer what with going to beaches and parties and trying to get seeing everyone in before I jet off to California from Maryland.
I'll miss the warm nights because I heard there aren't many in San Fran.
As my title says, I leave in 9, almost 8 days. I'm feeling a mix of emotions. Excitement, fear, sadness, nervousness, and quite surreal. It still doesn't seem like I'm going.
Ma & I did go to the airport tonight to inquire about a few things. My brother is coming with me to help me move in. & my father will be coming to California from Arizona to see us. I'm not excited. I haven't seen him in awhile and I like to keep it that way. Anyhow here are some places you can reach me:

www.youtube.com/user/ohthehorror5
http://dailybooth.com/letsskiptown

Make it happen.

VLOG?!

Ok so Ellie told me that I should vlog because I'd be good at it, so I'm giving it a shot!
You can check out my shennagians here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ohthehorror5

Yum.
I pulled an all-nighter last night and cuddles and a 2 person shower was involved.
It was a good night. And a big piece of chocolate cake&brawl beforehand.

<3

Cleaning up.

I'm taking out the trash so to speak and deleting some numbers from my phone and getting rid of the waste that I don't need to have around. It just brings unneccessary negative energy into my life and I don't need that. I'm so excited to leave Maryland in a few months and go to San Francisco, I start completely fresh and I won't run into someone I know everywhere I turn. It'll be more than nice to see new faces. It's kind of shocking to think that I'm acutally going, but I can't wait. The time is now.

twenty.

Dear Dickmouth,

Like I said when I first met you I knew you'd be apart of my life somehow. Sadly it's been nothing but trouble. You told me that you wanted me to trust you and I wanted to believe that I could, but as time progressed it became undoubtedly clear that I couldn't do that. I find myself wondering if you think the games you play are okay. They certainly aren't okay with me. And a large part of me is glad we didn't date because you simply can't be trusted. And you obviously didn't want to date me anyway, let's be honest. Because if you can go and date some other girl immediately after breaking up with your girlfriend without even considering me- there's obviously something up there. Especially since you're leaving for school at the end of June and you just want to "relax" in college. You didn't even have the decency to wish me a happy birthday. It seems to be hard for you to even be a good friend. I really hope that when you go to college, you'll grow up and learn how to treat people.




^ Just something I wanted to say.
I just had my 20th birthday on the 19th and I don't feel any different. I never do. My birthday wasn't anything special and I ended up getting upset and crying at one point in the night. I have my first final tomorrow for my film class and I'm sure I'll do fine. I hope so anyway.

rawr.

All I know is that you're so nice,
You're the nicest thing I've seen.
I wish that we could give it a go,
See if we could be something.
I wish I was your favourite girl,
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world.
I wish I was your favourite smile,
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style.
I wish you couldn't figure me out,
But you always wanna know what I was about.
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset,
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met.
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly,
'Cos it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see.
Basically, I wish that you loved me,
I wish that you needed me,
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars, actually I meant three.
I wish that without me your heart would break,
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake.
I wish that without me you couldn't eat,
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep.
All i know is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen
I wish that we could see if we could be something

oh by the way

(I don't feel like I NEED to do this, but I want to, so I will)

Dear You,
There are so many things I didn't get to say to you, because I felt like you wouldn't listen. You used to say you weren't the type to say "fuck your feelings", but it really seemed as if you were. When I really needed a friend, you shut me out because it was more convient to you. & I didn't appreciate you accusing me of playing some type of game, I was hurt and you couldn't be bothered. Apparently that's what "best friends" means to you. I would've always been there for you and even though you said the same and that nothing would change I knew in my heart that it would. We became too close too fast and maybe when you grow up a bit things will be different. & I hope you know that getting a boyfriend shouldn't change your relationships with your friends. I never cared that your brother was famous or that plenty of times our conversations wouldn't consist of much.
I'm glad we didn't take that huge step together because now I see it would've been a bad idea. I'm not going to lie I miss you sometimes and I miss the way we were. Thinking back in that year of knowing each other we had a lot of fun, right up until things got kind of crazy and went to shit.
Maybe we can be friends that way again in a few years.


"Mix Tape"I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup. You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos,and the way you always criticize the Smiths... and Morrissey.And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic. But when I say let's keep in touch,I really mean I wish that you'd grow up. This is the first song for your mixtape. It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos, and the way you don't appreciate Brand New or meAnd I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic. But when I say let's keep in touch,I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up .This is the first song for your mixtape.It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...