60?! (I'll love you in the morning when you're still strung out)

"Mix Tape"
I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup. You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos,and the way you always criticize the Smiths... and Morrissey.And I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic. But when I say let's keep in touch,I really mean I wish that you'd grow up. This is the first song for your mixtape. It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...I got a twenty-dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup.You're always made up.And I'm sick of your tattoos, and the way you don't appreciate Brand New or meAnd I know that you're a sucker for anything acoustic. But when I say let's keep in touch,I hope you know I mean I wish that you'd grow up .This is the first song for your mixtape.It's short just like your temper,but somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool...


It's been forever and a day. But I thought I'd stop by for a quick hello. Things have been down and then they've been up, very up. If that makes any sense. I've been realizing more and more lately that I have people who will care about me through thick and thin and I'm so thankful for them. I'm just so excited for what's to come, because I know it's gonna be good.
x

What if I go?

As usual it's been awhile. Things have been up and down, mostly down. I've just been feling like shit for the past few weeks and a big part of me doesnt know why. But I do think that some of it is that I'm just having problems with people. I talked most of them out with a few, but there's still something in the air.

"And every day I'm calling on my inner strength
To fight for something once worth fighting for
Maybe it's life in the real world
Maybe it's all been my fault
What if I go?
What if I leave?
What if I show you how you're breaking me?"

I'd like to think that soon this will pass and things will be better, but I can't believe that. And I also somehow can't find it in myself to change and I think I want to. But it's hard, very hard. I just need something good to happen, more than anything.

Blue.

Night falls
I fall
And where were you?
And where were you?
Warm skin
Wolf grin
And where were you?
I fell into the moon
And it covered you in blue
I fell into the moon
Can I make it right?
Can I spend the night?
High tide
Inside
The air is dew
And where were you?
While I
I died
And where were you?
I crawled out of the world
And you said I shouldn't stayI crawled out of the world
Can I make it right?
Can I spend the night
Alone?

Summer's over and I should've went to bed an hour ago and I don't know things anymore. I'm not certain of anything and that's ..odd. Honesty can hurt sometimes.
It's so cold right now.

we got dicks like jesus.

Besides cleaning, working out, and laying out in the sun for my vitamin D taking pictures were how I'm spending this last summer day. Maybe going to the playground later for stars and maybe the howard county police. Hopefully not the second. I really hope my mom and relatives don't come back in the house while I'm blasting My Dick. That would be embarassing. I don't need that. I'm sure it'll be over before they come home. Anyways I'm glad I was productive today if nothing else. & I did Barbie Aerobics from when I was a kid and it made me really happy, so that's not bad at all considering the recent events. &I also feel really good about what I ate today and I hope I can keep this whole thing up. That'd be nice. Well I'm off to do..something.

and you don't know me at all.

Why does it seem to be that I write in this when I've had a shitty day or am angry or what have you? Not sure, but I guess that's just the way things go. I know I've written about this PLENTY of times, but it still really aggravates me: When someone asks how your day was and you tell them shitty and they don't even ask why or if it got better or anything along those lines. Isn't that something that people do? I mean I do that. Maybe not everyone cares to know. But it just makes the day a bit worse. Today was a family day and at first it wasn't too bad, but then it always ends in tears. For me anyway. If you ever want to feel like shit and that you're worth nothing and that nothing you do is ever going to be right, those are the people to talk to. And it just makes me so upset that they judge me, my brother, and my mother so much and we're family. It shouldn't be like that. And I feel like if we're not hurting ourselves or anyone else, what's the problem you know? I see none. And generally I'm a really strong person and I don't let people get to me like this, but after years of it it just breaks you down. I left feeling like a worthless piece of shit, as per usual. This has been building up for awhile because I never felt it as much as I did last night. Mom and I had a long talk in the car after I finished sobbing and it was really nice to talk to her because she understood and she was there for me when no one else was. Guess that's what a mom should be really. And she told me stories about when Thomas and I were born and how she and my Dad started dating and their first dance song came on the radio, which was really strange.

Today is the last day of summer and I can't say I'm completely ready to say goodbye to it. I'm ready for school, but I'd like a little bit more time just to get myself together. But oh well. Nothing I can do. I just hope there are stars out tonight so I can lay on the hill and watch them for awhile. Not much else to say really, I just wanted to get that out. Talked to mom, wrote about it in my journal, wrote it here. Hopefully I won't feel bad in the morning, but my uncle and aunt are coming over and she was one of the ones I have problems with. We'll see how that train wreck goes. I'll be locking my door.

Oh and I went to the doctor, I have to see a neurologist for my dizzy spells and falling down, I hope that there's nothing up with my brain. The doc said I was healthy otherwise which was nice to hear.

good intentions.

Kat inspired me to come back to the blog. I can't believe it's August already, I guess that's exciting in a way because I'm ready for school except not ready for the work and paying for books and all that bullshit that comes along with it. But I do so much relish the times my friends and I spend together in the cafe. That makes school what it is. And as school progresses that just means England is that much closer. Emma and I have hit a certain snag, but hopefully that'll get figured out and it'll work for the best. Speaking of England I'm off to stalk Facebook pictures, because I mean what self respecting teenage girl doesn't do that?
Before I do that, completely random- I spent 8 hours of my day with Tony and we had a lot of fun and I got some type of exercise, which is good seeing as I'm often sitting on my fat ass all day. And with that I'm off.
x

Everyone sucks.

It makes me furious the way some people act. And the fact that they can be so inconsiderate without another thought crossing their minds. It just hit me how much I'll miss certain people (my family and like 2 or 3 others) and how much I won't miss others when I move. Linwood told me some things today that made me so upset that I cried, it was that bad. I just can't believe the way so-called "friends" will act (& say certain things) towards each other. It's sickening and it's sad. I don't know where some people get off you know? I feel like we need to have a talk with these people because I just can't believe it.

I'll be something new a metamorphosis

I had a crazy weekend. Things happened and I changed. There's something new in me and I'm ready to explore that. I don't feel bad about the things I did and I won't let anyone make me feel bad about it. Life is a whole different beast now and I'm ready to take it on. It's funny/strange the way things turn out, I never thought it would pan out this way. I'm glad they have and my eyes are continuing to open.


more lyrics.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hilaryduff/metamorphosis.html

I won't be thinking about you.

One of the things that gets on my nerves the most would be unreliable people. You make plans and they don't keep them and don't even bother to call. Taylor was supposed to take me to lunch because he missed my birthday and I didn't get a call or a text or anything and some people just chronically do this type of thing and I'm thinking it's not really worth the trouble anymore, especially if they just ignore me anyway then what's the point?
I mean I'm a pretty reliable person and it just irks me when people don't have to decency to call or text or anything. It's not that hard. And I feel like certain people are too concerned with themselves to care about what might be going on in someone else's life. And all they can do is tune you out. Friendship is a two-way street.


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brandnew/lastchancetoloseyourkeys.html

That describes it. I mean this type of thing has happened to me countless times.
I can't wait to be 5,000 miles away from here.

Do you wish that we would fall in love?

First things first, I didn't get fired. My boss just said shit happens and since I've worked there for so long without an incidence like this, it was alright. Second, my birthday was fun did the usual stuff went to Noodles &Co, saw Speed Racer (which I loved), went to the playground, and then hung out at my house.
Otherwise things have been alright, I checked my grades and I didn't fail Social Problems! Which gave me 2 As, a B, and a C. My GPA for the year was a 3.3, that's probably the best I've ever done in school.
I'm so ready though to get it all finished and go to England.
We (Ryan, Chris, Emma, and I) went to Frederick today to take pictures for Chris's photo contest and it was so beautiful there. I think if I had to live in Maryland, I'd live there. Sucks that it's like a 45 minute to an hour drive because I'd love to hang out there.
Man it's ridiculously hot in my room, my windows are open, but it's not helping.
Today was a beautiful day.

Here it comes again.

After spending the day crying yesterday and earlier in the weekend, things are looking up a bit. Except for the fact that I might be fired from work because my drawer was $100 short on Friday (& it can't be accounted for)I told my boss that she knows that I didn't take it and she said she knows that, but the office doesn't care if I've worked there for 100 years they could still tell her to fire me. Which makes no sense because in the 2 years and 8 months that I've worked there this has never happened before and if I do it fired, I'm taking them to court. My boss was like that's money out of Leonard's (Banner) pocket, like he can't deal with losing $100 out of all the money he makes. And I asked her if I could just make it up and she was like they don't allow us to do that. Which also makes no sense, how would they even be able to tell? She also said if they don't fire me, then they'll be "watching me" Don't understand how they'll do that, but okay. Anyways on a happier note, I angrily cleaned the house yesterday & today. And I even cleaned Thomas's old room (my new room) because if he wasn't going to get to it, I had to. I needed it clean if I want to put furniture in there (like my new bookcase)
And I called my dad yesterday who of course forgot about my birthday, quality fathering skills that man has. Top notch. And I also told him about moving to England and he was like we'll see. Yeah no you won't see anything because I'm going with or without his permission, he has no control over anything I do. So he can shove that right up his ass.
Anyways I'm excited to wear my new outfit tomorrow, for Emma's cock-shaped cake, and seeing my friends. Hopefully it'll be a good day.

"I don't really wanna live this life"

Things I hate:
1. When people constantly talk about themselves and don’t ask how you are
2. When they ask how you are and you say shitty or something along those lines and they completely disregard it and then go right into something having to do with them.
3. People who are unreliable, you make plans and then they break them or don’t even give you a call to let you know what’s happening
4. Not being able to count on people because of #3.
5. Feeling like no one cares.
6. When people leave trash in my fucking car.

But hey I don’t expect anything anymore so I won’t be disappointed. And you know what sucks? I’m not even that excited for my birthday. I’m just really unsatisfied and really unhappy and I know there’s nothing I can do about it, this has been a long time coming and I feel like it’s going to last awhile. Temporary happiness is great and all, but I’m not even feeling that.
& I don’t know why I keep expecting some people to care because I know they don’t.
I just drove around aimlessly tonight because I had nothing better to do and I walked around and cried and then just got mad.
&what sucks even more is I think all this is making me break out.



(In slightly happier news I did really well my first year of college, got a 3.5)

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/matkearney/girlamerica.html

I'm ready now

Damn I need to get out of here. There's nothing here for me anymore.
On the outside it's as if things are fine, but that's not the way it is.
But whatever I'll try and stop writing about that.
I've got my last 2 finals tomorrow and then I'm finished and then work all weekend and after that birthday. Mum's supposed to be taking me shopping which will be great.
Anyway haven't got much else to say. Early start tomorrow, not like it matters.

Sugar is bad for me.

Before I go back to watching my DVDs, I wanted to write. I always get mad at myself when I don't write in my (paper) journal for a couple of days, I feel like I'm wasting my days or something. I haven't anything really important to say, just that my birthday's in a week and I don't know what I want to do and for some strange reason I feel like certain people don't want to talk to me as much anymore and I don't know if that's true or just a silly assumption I'm making but either way I don't like it, of course.
Also I wonder why it is that when a guy is interested in one of my coworkers, I'm always the one they go to to give her their number. This has happened twice, not like that's a lot, but I just find it strange, I guess I'm the non-threatening type or something. It's annoying.
Bleh.
Summer's almost here and I'm more than ready, I don't know something needs to change.

A part of me is so unhappy. & I really wish I could fix it.

"I'm ready now to start a new beginning
With all our hopes and all our dreams
And I know the stars will shine for you and for meFrom the moment you believe."

& it's just like a dream

Driving 5 hours to Pittsburgh was definitely worth it, because we got to hang out with the band.
We were going to go home, but Kelsey's dad was being a nazi and told us we had to stay there (because she wasn't supposed to drive because of provisionals) & we talked to the band afterwards and Joshua invited us to stay at the hotel they were at, so we followed them to the middle of nowhere and randomly got a room right across from them. So we spent the rest of the night before we left at 5am, going back and forth through our room and theirs. We also stole beer from outside of someone's hotel room, because the band wanted alcy. I don't drink, but it was just kind of fun. Then at 3 we went to Denny's with Sioban the tour manager and I spilled chocolate milkshake all over myself, but it was delicious. He asked for my number afterwards and he gave me his. I just couldn't believe it was all happening and it's funny because that was the first time I ever hung out with Kelsey(outside of work) and Tessa (I had just met her).

As for school, I've finished with English & Women's Health so my Mondays and Wednesdays are free, which is great. My ASL lab final went well I got an 87 and I have a solid A in the class, there's a true or false written final on Thursday and I also have Social Problems, which I'm sure I'll fail. And then my birthday's coming up soon. I can't believe it.
& I was going to take a math class over the summer, but that would be a waste of time and gas so I'll just take it next semester. I also can't believe I'm done with my first year of college and England is at my heels. Well I have to leave for work in 10 minutes. Goodbye for now.
xx

Can we take a ride? Get out of this place while we still have time.

School's almost finished. I've got my first 2 exams tomorrow, Women's Health and English. Not too much to worry about. And immediately after school Kelsey, her friend Tessa, and I are driving 4 hours to Pittsburgh to see Kelsey's favourite band Breathe Carolina, she met them less than a week ago, but she's that obsessed. I anticipate it's going to be fun and very interesting. We're gonna get back at like 4:30am on thursday. & I've got an exam at 1, sign language lab. Should be easy. I just need to brush up on money markers and things of the like.
I'm so ready for summer. Today was a beautiful day. I know I should take math during the summer, but that would ruin my fun and kill my gas because I'd have to go out of my way to get to the school.
& I had a really fun time at work tonight because Kelsey and I were being fools.
And creeping out the customers. Such a great time.
Well I'm gonna go and finish watching Seven and hopefully not fall asleep like I always seem to do.

Moving On

Chris and I have decided that after he graduates in a year we're gonna pack up and move to England together. It's a good decision and it feels right. I'm going to try and go to school there. It's going to be a lot of work, but it's worth it.
I'm sure there's more I need to write, but I have a paper to write (which won't get done), a powerpoint to finish, and boys to fuck with.
Love.

The King of The Road

Oo two updates in a row, my my.
I'm at school right now waiting for my presentation partner. He should be here soonish.
There's a deaf event at Fuddrucker's tonight it should be pretty fun. I'm excited.
And I wanna finish this before my partner comes, because I don't want him to see this.
Why I don't know. I just don't.
There are doors opening everywhere, I feel jumpy for some unknown reason.
And I've been feeling really unmotivated lately. Also I'm getting to the point where I know that I need to move on from here. Like Maryland. There's a huge part of me that's telling me to go to Europe and I'm gonna do it. I have to do it. Not right now or anything, but soon. It's just been growing and I can't ignore it. So there's that.
I don't know if I've been unhappy or what, but something's in the air. Something's making me feel weird. Not a fan. I just wish I knew what it was so I could fix it. Oh well.

"The guy who whipped it out...I mean..gross."

1. I'm not excited for this weekend.
We're having this huge Webkinz (the new craze for kids) event at Hellmark and there are going to be children everywhere. I don't want to be trampled. And we're having games and shit.
2. Not all of the weekend will be bad though because I am hanging out with Caitrin so that'll be fun. I need to buy some blank CDs for her, Chris, and Becca's mom (for pictures of Mr. Sam).
3. Uh. I hate feeling things.
4. I think I just contracted an STD from watching A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila.
Eh. Life.

the big 4 oh

Thought I should write a little update of sorts because it's been awhile saw Kate Nash last night and luckily got to be in the front row. She smiled at me and so did her hot guitarist ( a lot, it was quite cute). It was a great concert. Then today I went to get my hair done and that's always a blast (not, because I have to get up so early-5:30 or 6 and then I get yelled at for falling asleep)

After that I got home, showered and hung out with Emma. We did the usual, shopping a bit and took pictures. & talked shit about Jordan- the lying cow if you will, because that never gets old.

Later Caitrin & Vlad stopped by, we played a botched game of Snatch which involved us making dirty words and throwing them in each other's clothes, pretty much. And then I took Emma home&now I'm here. Feeling unsatsified and tired. Can't really explain the unsatisfied, but tired is self-explanatory. Well the unsatsified is a usual actually. & I'm kind of sad about the fact that I don't really hang out with Linwood that much anymore, we used to just sit in my messy room and talk and I miss that. That's clearly not the only unsatisfying thing (damn I'm using that word quite a lot) It just seems that I can't win.

Tomorrow I have work and I was supposed to hang out with Thomas, but I don't think I can because I have some homework to do and things. I really shouldn't have put this stuff off. Oh well. I clearly love to screw myself up like this.

Why is she not naked?

So um. I hate stupid liars. They suckkk
I'm over at Emma's & liars were the theme of the night.
& sitting around in my car, like creepers.
The end.

This Woman's Work.

So you know what sucks? These things:

1. End of the semester work.
(I'm fucking drowning in it)
2. People who lie about things I've never said.
(It's unneccessary & extremely bitchy)
3. Cute girls who have boyfriends/unattainable girls/boys in general
(I would totally like them / to make out with them if it wasn't for that monkey wrench, so I try to push those feelings out)
4. Getting distracted.
(Clearly this)
5. Not asserting/standing up for yourself
(Why not let someone know how you feel?)
6. When people don't text you back
(Especially when it's important. or you just want to talk to them, I know I do it sometimes, but I really try not to.)
7. When you're trying to have a conversation with someone and they're clearly not listening.
(Nuff said)
8. Not being where I want to be/know I belong.
(It's not here, that's for damn sure)
9. Being sore.
(But how I got that way, totally worth it)
10. Feeling like there's something missing.
(It's no fun.)

So yeah that pretty much sums up life at the present moment. Maybe/hopefully things will get better as the weather does. I hope so, sun&warmth have their ways of making me happy. Hm, I barely slept this weekend either. I like to stay up late, what can I say?
But happy thing- I'm going to see Kate Nash with Jason&Chris on Friday and I'm v. excited. Date night with the boys, the very gay boys. Because c'mon it's me. Really.

Crap on a stick.

Holy woah. Today Emma, Chris and I (and then Orri) took a gaggle of ridiculous and beautiful band photos. (For Pussaliah & the Radiators) These things are really important. Clearly. Man I barely got sleep this weekend, uhm it's definitely a minute till 4 right now & I'm sure I'll be up for awhile yet. My shoulder hurts, we wrestled...a lot. And I won. It was a great time. & then Thomas came home for a hot minute and it was nice to see him, since he's all moved out and whatnot. Well not entirely he still has some shit here he needs to take. I've already started moving clothes into his closet, just dresses and skirts and things. It's really nice to have all this extra space in my closet. It's great and and today was beautiful. Until it rained on us at hell house which wasn't cute. But the sky looked lovely. It was intense. Anywaysss this is just rambling because it's 4am!

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

So I'm making an executive decision to get over it all now. Because I don't want to deal with it, I could run away from it all, but I'm just gonna face it and move on. No more jealously over feeling left out (which seems to be happening more often than not these days which is really upsetting because I felt like that so much in middle school and I don't want to have to experience it again, but oh well because it's definitely happening now), no more little crushes and concerns, and I'll deal with school. That's just how it has to be.
I just don't want to feel this way. & I'm not going to.

Concerned, Conflicted, and Confused

I'm all three of those things up there.
& also a little sad about Thomas moving out, but I am excited to have more space. Not sure what I'm going to do with it, but I'll figure something out.
So I'm concerned 1- about school
conflicted 2- about a boy
confused 3- about a girl.

Life is weird.
and the only thing I can really control out of those things would be school. So yeah about that.
Oh well I'm sure I'll get over everything soon. Hopefully because nothing's changing that's for damn sure.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alexzjohnson/24hours.html
&
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/melaniec/carolyna.html
&
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aqualung/strangebeautifulillputaspellonyou.html

For those three special emotions. On a happier note, I'm gonna get a bookcase for my new room (Thomas's old room) & maybe some other fun things, I'm pretty excited about it all actually.

What if what we see is all we've got?

First post of April:
I had a great weekend in which I barely slept. Friday night I went to dinner with Chris at Paper Moon Diner to meet Caitrin and her friends, it was my first time there and it was really good. Then back to Chris's house for cake and shennagians. (& Allison says I shouldn't deprive myself of secret makeouts at parties, because of the one crazy, I will take that into consideration) It was great seeingCaitrin and we're gonna hang out again sometime soon I believe. So Friday night I stayed up until 6, I was going to spend the night at Chris's, but I forgot I had to get my hair done, so he took me to meet my mom at a gas station and then it was off to the hair salon. I fell asleep under the dryers and on the chairs and got yelled at as usual. Then I went home and I finally got to sleep for a few hours and then Danielle and I went to the Hawk Nelson concert at this church. It was pretty Jesus-y, but it was good. & we met the band afterwards and a few of the others who performed and they were all nice. And then after the concert, I went over to Chris's again and hung out with him, Sam, and Robby. Sam, Robby, and I stayed up until 7 talking, it was a pretty intense conversation.
Then I had work and I can't really remember what I did after that. I guess worked on my teen pregnancy paper, which is always exciting. It's due tomorrow and I still have a few ( a lot) things to do.
Oh and Thomas is almost all moved out and I'm sad about it, but he's only about 15 minutes away and I get a permanent parking space, not a visitor's one anymore. & now I can turn his room into a playroom for me and my friends and all the crazy things we get up to.
His birthday is on the 10th and mom's on the 11th I need to start shopping for them.

Ehhh, I hate wanting things I can't have. That's annoying. But it seems to happen more often than not. Sometimes these situations are up in the air and according to some the signs are obvious and I'm being ridiculous, but I just don't know. Rawrrr, oh I don't know.

Random and weird thing: all day it's felt like there's something in my throat, it's odd and I don't like that feeling.

Okay the end, I'm going to try ( I HAVE TO) do the rest of this work and continue listening to music and texting. I also need to put a shirt on.

Fucked up.

All I can say is revenge is a dish best served cold.
<3

Texting (hot) girls and horror movies.

My my it's been quite awhile. It always is, isn't it? What have I been up to you ask? Oh the usual, working, going to school, having parties while Mum is away. She went to New York over spring break so I took it upon myself to have a little get together.

It was a lot of fun, no alcohol or anything because I don't drink and I can have fun without it. I made out with this boy that a friend of mine so unsubtley (but unbeknowst to me before the kissing) tried to set me up with. It didn't work. He's gloomy. I mean I can appreciate that for awhile, but not in this case. And it's fine because I don't need to date anyone (girls included, because that's just a whole other ballgame. Girls are weird too). It doesn't matter. I've been okay for all this time, in retrospect. Usually stupid/d-bag/creepy people like me anyway. & I don't like when cute outfits are wasted on undeserving, unappreciating, eyes.

So the whole let's be friends thing was mutal this time around. Which I was totally fine with. And I've made a pact with Emma, no more making out at parties. Or something might blow up.

Other exciting things I've been doing, buying new clothes (& panties!), planning parties (& certain people will not be invited because they fuck around with friend's feelings and that's uncool) and roadtrips, anxiously awaiting the warmth and trying to stay sane. All the normal things. I would be excited for this weekend, but honestly I'll just be working for most of it and then I've got papers to do for the following week. Teen pregnancy here I come!

On another note, people have been really getting on my nerves lately and I'm not sure why that is. Am I become more short-tempered? More of a bitch? I just don't know. Maybe there's a strange type of change in the air. Although I'd hope it was a good one.

My life is full of horror. (films that is)

Fornication

Over at Chris's. Where I learned how to play poker and hearts and there was a lot of fornication, or talk of it anyways. Fornicating with new friends of course. This is pretty much a pointless post, just because I felt like it. My new friend Matt (drunkie/fornication partner) says hi. He's singing about it. That's it for me, I'll write about tomorrow's activities when the time comes.
xx

the big 3 oh

10:43pm

It's been a month and some change. What's different? Probably just the fact that I finally got that pesky license. So now I'm a free woman...well free-er than I was before. It's just easier for me to buy fast food now. Which is sad and that's what having my license has helped me achieve. Health problems. & driving to school & work is great, being able to wake up whenever I want. And just driving around which I got to do for the first time today seeing as I skipped class and I had nothing to do after hanging out with Katey and Sarah. It was nice.
Spring is on it's way here and you know what that means! People will be in heat and I feel it coming on and I can slowly but surely feel my frustration building.
This isn't going to be fun.

Oh and all those things I was so excited for in February (Spice Girls, the youth summit) went very well. I had a great time at both.

update update update

1. Being on TV was great, everyone said I was a natural and I was asked to help out some for a few hours a week if I was available to do that.
2. Haven't gotten my license yet, because the test is really annoying.
3. I got red highlights in my hair and I love it, it's the first time I've ever had color in my hair.
4. School starts tomorrow and I already have a list of things I need to do. Like: buy my books, register for another class, get a new student ID, and a parking permit thing.




& february needs to hurry up and get here. Across the Universe is out on dvd on the 5th, I'm so excited.

Television star?

I'm going to be on TV tonight. It's for a phone bank thing with PFLAG on Maryland Public Television. i'm gonna be talking about the youth group, Rainbow Youth Alliance.
I'm pretty excited, not sure what I should wear though. We leave to go to the studio around 6:45, should be a lot of fun. Seeing as I've never been on tv before.
I need to groom myself, I'm just sitting here topless listening to S Club. I just got back from babysitting Sam, a few days ago I had to go to Gettysburg with Becca's mom because Sam was being a bit difficult and the car ride but him to sleep. We had adventures around the hotel and then we stayed in the gift shop and watched the opening to Arthur on youtube over and over. I took some really nice pictures on the way there. Open fields and farm houses, things like that.
Well I'm off to find clothes to put on and shower and that.
xxx

Love songs and horror movies.

11:31pm

Felt the need to blog just now. Linwood came round today and we went car shopping (for him of course) today and it's actually a lot of fun. The car salesmen always smell good and test driving those expensive cars is always a grand time. I pretty much just hung out with him today and now I'm watching Hostel on mute while playing love songs. It's pretty great, I made a playlist last night/4 in the morning of quirky awkward love songs. Because I'm awesome at mixes. Songs like First Day of my Life by Bright Eyes and Broken Social Scene and Kate Nash. Not to mention a song from the Pokemon soundtrack, just because I can.
Tomorrow I'm going over to Becca's to babysit little Sam, or the toothless wonder as I like to call him. And I'm going to take that opportunity to watch all of the movies I said I would over the winter break, Hairspray, Peaceful Warrior, and West Side Story. I'm sure there are others, so as break comes to a close I'll have to watch them. Anyways there's not too much excitement going on in my life, although I am going to be on TV this friday so I need to start practicing the art of speaking slower. I just want February to get here, because there's a lot to look forward to.
(Lobby Day, Spice Girls concert, GLSEN Youth Summit)

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xxx

Awkward!

I lost the first post I wrote, but that's okay. I figure since it's the new year I'll try to keep up with my blogging, I write in an journal everyday so it shouldn't be that hard. So here's an update of what's been going on lately.
First semester: grades wise, I did really well except for math which is always hell on earth.
Holidays: Quiet, but nice all the same. I spent Christmas buying music and parallel parking. New Years I hung out alone for most of the night, but then I went over to Nick's.
Work: Exactly the same. I doubt anything will ever change in the world of retail.
Friends: Lovely.
Love: Still stupid.
Yesterday I went out to dinner with the RYA people and that was a lot of fun because I hadn't been out in awhile, except to go to work. And it was great seeing everyone. Afterwards we went to the playground and then to my house where I had to sit around and watch my friends make out, which was really awkward. It's just me sitting there trying to focus on the tv. One day it won't be like that. One day. But I mean I want my friends to be happy and I'm glad that they are, we all deserve that. Some of us anyways.
Random: I got asked to be on an MPT phone bank tv thing for PFLAG on the 18th, so that should be pretty fun.